This weekend was a very interesting and difficult one. And how much I try to keep my very personal feelings to myself, I feel this is one of the ways I can get to peace.
It is so easy for those on the outside looking in to make a judgement of a situation or about me. But, unless you walk in my shoes or feel how I do, then you could never and will never understand.
How hard is it to sit there and listen to someone you once gave your all lie on you or about you. I can never understand how someone who claims they love you so much can disrespect you, are two faced and speak about you in such a negative manner.
I put it on the line!! You hear what I am saying, I mean I went all out for this dude. Crazy...people do crazy things when in love. Is it really Love? Love is kind, trusting, understanding, honest, compromising....etc.. you get it. This is NOT the love I received.
I'm so sick right now, because it is not just me wanting to have this person, i am over that, but a child involved.
Men, and women who do not have custody of their kids, don't leave your kids high and dry just because your "situation" doesn't fit. I get up at 5am everyday, take my kids to daycare/summer camp, get off at four and still don't get home until 630pm, and I make time for my babies, baths, dinner and do it all over again every single day. What is your excuse?
I cannot accept the excuses, and then when I try to make contact I get no answer. But But But you are daddy of the year and telling everyone I am keeping your child from you. Am I wrong? When is someone going to be in my corner? How many excuses shall I take? I just want to live day by day and enjoy every single minute of it peacefully. But, I am definitely at the brink, on the edge, ready to jump. I put it out there, I made the offer and still no show, where was my daughter? With her Nana....AGAIN! So it is not my fault now, but then again it is.
I apologize again, I usually do not do this or put it out there, but this has really truly frustrated me. I am so sick of being strong and trying not to cry when all I want to do is let my river flow until I cannot anymore.